The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/21/10
Beautiful use of a metaphor with "Stars….guiding her sliver of freedom" and "home seem a distant galaxy light years away." I enjoyed many phrases too "found herself in his car belted down, stitched in." Gripping story… I sighed with relief at the end!
Great story for teens to read. You had me gripped when the car doors locked and prior to that, I was saying...no, no, don't go with him! Loved the ending with the loving and faithful father coming to her rescue. Was also happy that the Christian owner's followed God's leading!
02/24/10
Your use of descriptive language in some places was excellent in others it made no sense. Or in other words the adjectives you were using would not be the word to describe what was going on. Overall good job.