The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/19/10
Yes, I got through your entry and felt all the anger and then regret and then the sheer terror of the woman accusing her of taking the money. It was a good story. You took me out of the story line fast, though, with that last line. :(
It's strange how sometimes when you review something you've written it suddenly seems "boring" or just not what you thought it was going to be as you were writing it. I'm glad you submitted it anyway and I thought it was kind of fun the way you let us into your feelings at the end. If it's the MOST boring thing you've ever written, you're way ahead of many! Good descriptions and interesting characters.
The story was great until the last line.
Absolutely nothing to apologize for as far as the storyline. I thought it was fun and was going back in forth if the old lady was a scammer or if the troublemaker behind the MC somehow lifted the money.
There was a minor editing typo, but it was so little and I was into your story that I can't remember what it was. Good job.
02/24/10
Yea. You think it's boring, but it's one of the few stories I read to the end...explain that!
02/24/10
Thanks for your honest feelings at the end there. The sentence caught me by surprise, but you know what, it's okay. Even if you were WRONG :) This was not a boring story. It was genuine and real. How many of us have stood in an express line and stewed over the rude customer in front of us who had the nerve to have too many groceries? Well done. I liked how the mc was able to shut down the idea of going to prison. Funny!
02/24/10
LOL! I actually really enjoyed this, especially the beginning. Your humor with your MC's righteous indignation, "pulling my purse strap up higher on my shoulder" was something I could see. Then her foot tapping and when she did finally confront the offender and then looked to the woman behind her for support...what a hilarious moment. I really enjoyed this... and your ending line too!