The Official Writing Challenge
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Well written and on topic. You kept my attention all the way through with a meaningful story and believable characters.
A well-told story (feels like the antidote to the one I wrote, which is encouraging). I think it flowed well and the dialogue rung true. It concluded well and it conveyed the message without being overly sentimental. I really liked it. The one hesitation I have with it is on some basic editing- there were some extra words near the beginning (probably a leftover from an edit) and a misspelling. Watch for those and you'll be golden. Good work!
02/18/10
This is a very descriptive story. It places us right there. Not sure how on topic, though. Well written.
02/20/10
Great story. I was with you every minute. Yes, watch what are probably editing errors. I find it helps to leave the piece overnight and then go back and reread carefully before submitting. Preview your submission. On topic,using Phew as disgusting smell. If this is true, God bless you for your work.
02/20/10
A little polishing here and there and you have a good entry. I think in the MC's mind they were going "Phew!" but they couldn't say that outloud.