The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/19/10
Oh my! What a way to end a perfectly glorious day for Zip. Cute story and a good lesson to be learned.
02/19/10
what a fascinating turn of the tale. believable character traits--strait out of any military movie or book. and such a neat ending. well done.
Oh My Gosh...I was overcome with laughter! Seriously, picturing Zip (LOVE THE NAME) carrying a meatball, WITH spaghetti, AND THEN A SLICE OF BREAD...Too Funny. I also, loved the "flyettes". This is the first time, a shocking ending for a little guy I so enjoyed, didn't phase me :)
Someone told me this was a great article so I had to check it out. I'm so glad I did! I pictured the flies in the movie Racing Stripes (they were my fav) Your story was so funny and I enjoyed every bit of it. I love spiders, too and they must eat as well, but I still felt sad for the poor fly. The way you put the phew unexpectedly in the spider's voice was great.