The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
02/15/10
I felt like I was right there with the people waiting for word. Very good writing.
02/15/10
You are certainly a master of atmosphere and dialect. I loved the unlikely friendship of Wenna and Agnes shared during their tea ritual. That scene reminded me of one of my favorite novels, A Thousand Splendid Suns. Great pacing and suspense, perfectly bittersweet ending. Incredible writing.
02/15/10
A page or two out of a most entertaining novel. Very well done, indeed. You set the scene up so well and used the suspense effortlessly.

Mona
02/15/10
Very well done. Mines are so dangerous, you captuered the feelings well.
You did a good job describing the tension and emotional roller coaster.
02/15/10
Lovely atmosphere and incredible use of dialect. Awesome story.
A most interesting, well written story. I enjoyed your writing style.
02/15/10
Superb writing.
I love the last line - ties in well with the title. How many miners have been saved through the prayers of their families, I wonder?
Great story.
02/16/10
What an amazing story! The details, the characterization, the tension--everything drew me in and held me captivated throughout. Splendid writing, heartbreaking conclusion. Exceptional!
02/16/10
Masterful writing. Great descriptions and detail. I had to wipe the coal dust off my face when I got done reading. (great job!)
02/17/10
My Great Grandfather was a coalminer... you've certainly brought this to life for me. I enjoyed the Colloquialisms.
So much to like about this piece. The first thing, to me, was the dialect. It sounded authentic and helped create the setting which was wonderfully described - I could picture myself there very easily. Then the characters who one could easily identify with from their chores and reflective thoughts and finally the story line itself as it raced you in breakneck speed to the end.
02/17/10
Amazing writing. I knew you had drawn me in when I found myself anxiously holding my hand to my face while reading.
02/17/10
The drama and tension are palpable - I have no fingernails left. It's obvious that care was taken to chose each word, and the dialect is great. And, yes, I think you found the "ohh" factor perfectly. :) SUPER writing!
02/18/10
Congratulations! A placing very well deserved.Brilliant writing
Ohhh! You nailed the topic completely and drew this reader along breathlessly hoping along with the women for their men to be spared. Great dialect, atmosphere, characterization - wonderful writing! Congratulations!
02/18/10
Told ya! Congrats. :)
02/18/10
Whoohoo, congrats on your placing! Wow!
sooo glad you are back as usual an awesome piece of work. you are GIFTED!