The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
09/05/05
Ooooh, I see potential here - this is narrative music, the poem should be sung. Add to this and you have a musical stage play.
An unusual poem with an unusual story behind it. A bit more work and this could be a great piece. I found the transitions a little confusing, but like Dub felt that it had a musical quality. Thanks for sharing.
09/10/05
I really like the writing style here--you have a unique writer's voice. But I don't understand the story...who is your narrator? I feel like I'm supposed to know something that I don't.