The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 519 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
02/08/10
I love your title and this is well-written. The only thing I have a problem with is how the teacher attacked the mother. I would hope a professional wouldn't go about it that way. This is such a sad story. I would like to know what happens to the little girl.
02/09/10
The story left me with chills. My daughter has worked as an elementary school guidance counselor, I fear this scenario is far too often true.
I wish the teacher might have been more gentle, but it is very believable. I find myself hoping the teacher will be able to do something when the girl doesn't come back to school. Very well done.
02/09/10
This was all kinds of phenomenal. Enthralling, deep, and sadly realistic. Excellent.
02/09/10
You've caught the atmosphere very well. Great story-telling, although very sad and real subject. My stomach was even reacting to the emotion; obviously your writing merits praise. The people in your story, however, merit something else entirely.
02/09/10
Very well done! I could cut the tension with a knife as I read along this true-to-life entry. All of us would hope for different approach by those in authority...but most of the time this is the result. Straight out of the daily news.
Mona
02/09/10
I was confused at the beginning and did not understand what was going on.
Then I got it. So scary and so sad.

Maybe if you used italics for the flashbacks, it would have been easier to follow.

Great writing!

02/09/10
The reader cannot help but feel for this child. Sometimes I think one's imagination is a grace from God in that we are able to escape - even if but for a moment - the terrors of the life around us.
02/09/10
Oh, what a horrible life for a child to endure! You described it so vividly, I felt that I was right there with her. Awesome writing, terrifying story. Very well done.
02/11/10
Very descriptive and very sad, for the child's having to detach herself from the adults will denying her any real skill in handling stress as she matures.