My husband is an interesting man. I tell him all the time that life is certainly not boring living with him.
He has so many quirks that really get under his skin but highest on the list is the fact he is a germ a phob. Now, I’m not talking a complete Monk character but pretty close.
I’ve come to terms with having Purel on hand at all times. I have trained the kids and myself to wash our hands as soon as we enter the house. I know to wipe down the phones and keyboards if one of us has been sick. We avoid the malls and any public places during the worst of the sick times.
It’s all good. He’s helping us to stay healthy I’m sure. But this past week, he came home with one of the most absurd issues yet. It all centered on his trip to Subway to pick up lunch.
He went into the sandwich shop fully intending to get his food germ free. He had a plan.
When it was his turn in line, he stepped up to the counter and told Juan that he would like two twelve inch subs on whole wheat bread. He watched carefully as Juan took the bread, sliced it, and flattened it out on the counter.
“I don’t want these toasted,” my husband had said just to get that out of the way. He then went on to order the meats and cheese which he carefully counted as each slice was placed on the bread. Did I mention he’s also a little anal? He always counts…every time.
Anyway, as the last piece of cheese was patted firmly in place, my husband went through the list of vegetables in his head. He was feeling good. Things were going well and he was in the homestretch.
Then it happened. Juan spoke.
“Do you want that toasted?” he spat out. And no, he wasn’t looking at my husband as he said it. He was looking directly at the food. Grrr! My husband groaned inwardly as he visualized the drops of saliva spraying out all over the sandwich.
‘Course when he was telling me this story at home, I couldn’t stop laughing. I mean, really…who thinks like this? I could hardly keep the food in my mouth. He was so worked up over the fact he had everything timed out perfectly. If done right, Juan should never have had to speak until the food was safely wrapped up to go.
My husband wasn’t too impressed with my laughter over his frustrating purchasing experience. So he looked at me sweetly and said, “At least it was your sandwich that took the hit!”
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