The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
09/05/05
Work on beats rather than affirmations, read the essay out loud and you discover ways to smooth out the choppy description and dialog. Keep working at it and you will arrive, the story as great potential.
Pat Guy  
09/05/05
I agree with dub - it has great potential! Almost like a fable of love.
09/10/05
Who's Mary?

Sweet story, the dialog needs work to be a little bit more realistic. But it's nice to read about that kind of love.
09/15/05
Actually this story was very lengthy but due to the word limit, I had to delete many of the dialogues. I am so sorry for the ambiguity regarding the character Mary. She was Rosie's friend.