The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
02/05/10
Loved the suspense in this...I want more! This has so much potential for a full blown mystery/adventure/terror story.
02/06/10
Your story illustrates beautifully the difference in attitude that music and worship can bring. I love it.
02/06/10
Oops...this is for the next one. My computer's playing tricks on me.

"Watching with Shomer" is an awesome story, masterfully written. The foreshadowing helps to make the message stronger.
02/10/10
Very good job building suspense and intrigue and a good lesson as to whom and when we should trust. It seems we can never be too careful and always on "watch"
02/10/10
Exceptionally well-written. You were able to get a lot in this word count.
The action was just right and the suspense well-timed.
Very interesting on several levels.
Mona
02/10/10
What a good lesson. You did a great job tying everything together. I liked how you incorporated the translation of the names. Good job.
02/10/10
Wow,very interesting. I'd love to read more!
02/10/10
I smiled at your "bored-of-your-worrying feeling." :) Your ending twist was good! I enjoyed this!
02/10/10
Hum... I'd say Terach only has job security because he owns Shomer...:) I enjoyed this intriguing story, and I would love to read a longer allegory involving these characters!