G-R-R-RIN AND BARE IT
There's a dent in my finger. It wasn't there five minutes ago. Hurts like crazy, too. What WAS I thinking? Truth to tell, I wasn't; I was reacting. Slamming a cupboard door in anger and frustration, I hadn't moved my hand out of the way fast enough.
Both kids watched wide-eyed as Mommy did the "owie" dance, trying not to swear or scream or cry. It was one of those moments where you grab the injured digit, compress the area around the wound to stop the pain and hope there's no blood flowing.
In an effort to gain something out of the rash act, I looked at the children and shared this bit of wisdom: "That's what can happen when we throw temper fits. Mommy shouldn't have slammed that door. Now her finger's hurt."
The pain in my finger didn't compare to the shame I felt for blowing my cool. The kids had been a wild all day, husband was late and hadn't called, the car was acting up and I'd hit overload. That still didn't excuse the behavior. I hadn't just hurt myself; I'd scared the kids. Bad-mom guilt rolled in and broke my heart.
The incident is a real one, pulled from pre-Christ memories. Through God's amazing love and unfailing patience, my life-change has been on-going and thorough as He peels away the world's ways and helps me grow into His.
Although the g-r-r-r of frustration can still pop up, it's offset by the g-r-r-r-eatness of God and a g-r-r-rateful heart.
The choice to be forgiving rather than beg-r-r-udging is still mine. Free will still exists.
I do not wish to g-r-r-ieve my Lord, so pray for g-r-r-race more often than not.
God is still g-r-r-owing me toward maturity and g-r-r-ooming me for the things of His Kingdom.
If we go to the doctor for a shot, we have to expose the skin to the needle and we expect to feel some hurt. When we take the risk and open our hearts to His healing, God's work can also feel painful as He cleans out the festering soul-sores of rejection, bitterness, unforgiveness and the like.
Rather than growl at the stuff life throws at us, perhaps we should focus on the joy that comes with freedom from the bondage those sores represent. Let us choose to rejoice and open our hearts even more, or a wise woman once said, "G-r-r-rin and bare it."
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