My husband can’t think of two things at a time.
Instead, one-track-mindedness suits him just fine!
It shows in the everyday scheme of our lives.
He says, “huh?” so often I break out in hives.
“I live out of boxes,” he says, “in my head.”
My female antennae just shudder with dread.
He’s faithful to God and he loves me, it’s true.
However, it’s sad that his words are so few.
Sometimes when he talks I think he’s out to lunch.
He can’t multi-task, which annoys me a bunch.
Right now I can tell you some samples of this.
I think they’re quite funny; you won’t want to miss!
“Just listen while I tell the news of the day.”
He passes me off, doesn’t hear what I say.
Disposal quits working one day ‘neath my sink.
“Please-please won’t you fix it?” I flirt with a wink.
“The baby just pooed, can you change him for me?”
He acts like he’s deaf; just how dense can he be?
Sometimes he’s addicted to televised sports.
“The kids and I miss you; we’re all out of sorts!”
The trashcan o’erflows like a mountainous heap.
“Please take it outside?” I’m ignored by this geek!
We visit Menard’s to buy paint for a door.
He’s stuck on plain white; “Oooh, ‘cool gray’ I adore!”
When Christmas comes ‘round he’s a clueless old coot.
“What should we get Walter? You don’t give a hoot?”
The newspaper makes a good place to escape.
“Stop hiding behind that newprint-y old drape?!”
I model a dress and ask, “What do you think?”
He nods without looking – not even a blink.
“What food should I serve at our party for friends?”
He shrugs as if mindless; a blank stare he sends.
When I share my feelings he thinks I’m a mess.
“Emotions must scare you! Now to that confess!”
This all may sound mean as I nit-pick and laugh.
It may sound like slander of my better half.
Of course there’s his side of the coin to explore.
And so I will quote what HE brings to the fore.
“You’re just so darn talky; you need to be blunt!”
Now can you see me in a mouth-zipping stunt?
I must keep on blabbing; he must say his “huh?”
An onlooker might add a confounded “DUH!”
In case this seems harsh here’s one lingering thought:
I dearly adore this old man that I caught.
I love him although he’s been dense from the start.
We’re one flesh together and never will part.
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