The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
01/22/10
The writing is very, very good--you had my heart aching for the boy reading this, and for the father who wrote it. Extremely unique take on the topic, and I like the way you wove in the "oops" of the discovery of penicillin.
What a powerful insight into another culture. Well done.
01/24/10
Wow. This is compelling writing.
01/24/10
Powerful - STRONG writing! Very effective. This in the first paragraph confused me - "Chances are you have figured out that you have not travelled to America for your grandmother’s funeral". I wondered where he went if not America, and how could he not know where he was actually going. After finishing your entry and thinking it over, I realized I misunderstood - it wasn't where he was going that he didn't know, it was the reason why. You also have a couple of missing words, but that minor oops didn't affect the story. This has a strong emotional impact - I love it!
01/25/10
From the title to the last word...wow. Outstanding writing, outstanding voice. Such authenticity, and it reminded me of the Tarsheeshan character in C. S. Lewis's "The Last Battle". Again...wow!
This was absolutely brilliant. I had goose bumps and tears. Just this weekend, a local solider, the same age as my son, died in Afghanistan. What a powerful message. God bless you.
Shann
Very eye-opening-- a p.o.v. from a different culture. Good writing. Patty
01/26/10
Excellent! Left me wanting to read more. I, too, stumbled on the first paragraph, but it didn't hamper way the story read at all.
01/26/10
What a compelling and intriguing take on the topic! You hooked me from the beginning, and the outcome certainly did not disappoint. It made me want to read more about those professionals (scientists, etc.) who have been caught between two worlds. Exceptionally well done!!
Brilliant!
Really powerful!
01/27/10
I meant to comment on this earlier in the week. I love the atmosphere you created with this, and the way you played off of the "oops" theme. Amazing!
01/27/10
Exceptional! It would make an intriguing book.
As so many other have said: WOW. This was really something. A winner for sure, at least in my book...
Amazing. I was hooked from the first word to the last tear. Powerful stuff.
01/28/10
Compelling, engrossing material. Please assure us that it's the prologue of a suspense novel, for I'm sure we're waiting for the rest of the story to emerge.