Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Four Ways For A Christian Writer To Win A Publishing Package HERE



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Ow! (01/07/10)

TITLE: Reservations at Le Rondeau
By Carol Slider
01/14/10


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

“You understand everything has to be perfect?”

“Yes, sir, we do understand.”

That edge of asperity was not what I would have expected from a Le Rondeau employee. During a ten-minute phone call, he had blandly replied “yes, sir” to everything I requested.

“Remember,” I repeated. “Perfection.”

“We understand, sir. Many couples have gotten engaged at Le Rondeau.”

You needn’t sound so blasé about it, I thought, but let it go.

Things went wrong from the start. The limo service sent a tacky white vehicle like a leftover from senior prom. Marian looked lovely, as always—but she wore dark red, not the iridescent blue I’d requested to blend with Le Rondeau's decor.

Marian seemed uncommunicative during the drive, but the ambience of Le Rondeau enchanted her. She smiled as the band began to play... that song.

Yes—the very song chosen for the pivotal moment! I charged across the dining room and accosted the manager. The band had its own playlist, he said apologetically, but he would ensure it was also played at the proper time...

I had to be content with this.

Reviewers, I thought critically, had overrated Le Rondeau. Not just the service, but the passable (not extraordinary) food. Marian seemed pensive. She spoke to me without meeting my eyes.

When the waiter cleared the dinner plates, a shimmery spotlight illuminated our table, making Marian’s dress look violently purple. The band played again the chosen song... but where was dessert? I waited—nervous, agitated—until the server finally arrived.

Before the music faded into uncomfortable silence, I knelt before Marian, looked up, and said:

“I’m quite sure you know that I love you. Will you marry me?”

* * *

When I first started dating Tad Bigham, some of my friends called him “Tad Bigheaded.” Naturally, I thought they were jealous.

I met him at a downtown lunch counter. He sat down beside me and said,

“Who are you? Why haven’t I seen you here before?”

“I don’t work downtown,” I said, appraising him. Hmm... dark-haired, well-built, conventionally handsome. Not the sort I wanted to discourage at once. “I’m at a conference today,” I added, “but I teach in the suburbs.”

“You’re far too lovely to teach in the suburbs,” he said, and so it began.

I was also conventionally attractive—blonde, blue-eyed, correctly proportioned—and had never lacked male companionship. But Tad was an unknown species: rich, cultured, gentlemanly, and quite willing to accept my ironclad “wait until marriage” proviso.

Tad wanted perfection, and I appreciated that. I went to an expensive salon and updated the hairstyle that he’d dubbed “early cheerleader.” I had my nails done professionally and began working out at a gym. Tad took me to plays and concerts, sporting events and five-star restaurants—and always we had the best seats, the best table.

Then he made reservations at Le Rondeau.

He asked me to wear blue. But when I touched up my make-up, a tiny speck splattered the delicate silk. Regretfully, I changed into the dark red dress Tad had said was “absolutely stunning” when I’d worn it to his office Christmas party.

But as our limo glided away to the restaurant, Tad said coldly,

“Didn’t I ask you to wear blue?”

“I’m sorry,” I grinned ruefully. “I splattered make-up on the blue one.”

“You wore it to fix your face? How idiotic!”

Idiotic.

It stung, like cold reality that jars one out of a pleasant dream.

The elevator ride, 50 floors up, almost lulled me back to dreamland. Dining at Le Rondeau, with its deep blue carpet and candlelight and glass-domed ceiling, was like treading the stars. There was a big band, too, channeling the musical spirit of Glenn Miller.

I smiled at Tad, recognizing a favorite song—but he jumped up and dashed across the room, gesticulating wildly at a man who looked like the manager. What had Tad found to complain about?

As course succeeded artful course, I watched his disappointment mount. So many things disappointed him. Even here, beneath this glorious canopy of stars.

When the entree plates vanished, the band began playing the song that had annoyed Tad. A spotlight illuminated our table, and I guessed what was happening even before dessert arrived with an atrociously large diamond upon the meringue.

Then Tad knelt in front of me, as everyone stared.

“I’m quite sure you know that I love you,” he said perfunctorily. “Will you marry me?”

And I said—

But that, O discerning Reader, I will let you surmise.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 732 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Leah Nichols 01/14/10
NO!!!!!! (Hopefully.) Nicely done! I liked the way you contrasted the perspectives.
Mona Purvis01/14/10
OW! Well-done. Guess we know what her answer will be...

mona
Noel Mitaxa 01/16/10
I think I'd have reservations too - very strong ones!
Rachel Phelps01/16/10
Ow, indeed. Excellent use of the topic and wonderful writing.
Beth LaBuff 01/16/10
I really enjoyed reading this well-written story! Great creativity!
Dee Yoder 01/17/10
Oooo...what a cad, Tad! I also enjoyed the two perspectives and it was amusing to read what Tad was thinking--LOL. I sure was glad to interpret for his poor date--that would be "NO", Tad.
Carol Penhorwood 01/18/10
A delightful, entertaining read! I loved the two perspectives! And I'm so sure she will have the wisdom of Solomon on this one!
Verna Cole Mitchell 01/18/10
I loved your "Lady or the Tigter" story. If your heroine was smart at all, she said no; however, she'd stayed with him a little long to be too bright.
Catrina Bradley 01/18/10
Oh how I love this! The scene told from two perspectives was expertly done. And this discerning reader guesses the answer is a big fat NO.
Colin Swann01/21/10
It's got to be a no - what a prat! Good story, excellently written. Thank you - Colin
Lisa Johnson 01/21/10
Very well written...and I can surmise her answer...a most empatic NO!!!!
Congratulations on your high placement on your level and in the Editor's Choice!!!
Shirley McClay 01/21/10
I loved the two perspectives! He was obviously clueless about what a jerk he was. I am glad she clued in!
Edy T Johnson 01/21/10
Great writing! I relished the second perspective adding those important details missing from the first one! Now, I hope when she (gently) does not live up to his expectations, she takes the opportunity to let him know what it is she has seen in him that answers his "why?" He deserves a learning experience...and perhaps even another chance? (^&^)
Ifeoma Dennis01/25/10
Wow! this was really a fun read- I can only guess!