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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Ow! (01/07/10)

TITLE: Worship in the Key of B# Major
By Allison Egley


"Fascinating!" Doctor Steve Wolf, the choir director, exclaimed. The choir members' heads dropped. Fascinating was not a compliment when spoken by Dr. Wolf. "Now let's try it again. Ready? One, two, good, luck."

The choir started singing once again, but Dr. Steve stopped them a mere five seconds later.

"Ow!" Please. Spare my ears. If you listen quietly, I think we might be able to hear the neighborhood dogs howling. Let's not accompany them again. One, two, good, luck."

This time, the choir made it a full ten seconds.

"Okay, okay. That was a little better. But please, let's remember that this song is about the resurrection, not the crucifixion. One, two, three four."

"Good. Good. Much better. Now, let's be brave. Let's add in the orchestra. And one, two, three, four."

The first chord sounded, then died a slow and agonizing death.

"Ow!" exclaimed Dr. Steve, the choir members, and most of the orchestra.

"Piccolos, for the sake of our sanity and hearing, please, please tune. Let's try this again. One, two, good, luck.

"Stop, stop. Choir, let's teach the orchestra something tonight. What does 'accelerando' mean?"

"Watch the director," The choir stated in unison.

"Exactly. Remember. Anything in Italian means 'Watch the director.' Again.

"That was much better. Now. Time to be brave once again, and bring in the praise band. And before we even start, piccolos, would you please tune once more?" Dr. Wolf turned to address everyone. "I know you're getting tired of this, but we've almost got it. I think. I hope.... I pray. One, two..." he silently marked that last two counts.

"Ow!" Dr. Steve exclaimed. Percussion. Too loud. WAY too loud. Let's knock it down about... oh... 534.73 notches. Thank you. And again. One, two...

"Not bad. I think we've mostly got it together. And now..." Dr. Steve crossed himself, placed his hands together in prayer, and looked heavenward. "Let us try to put it all together with the click track.... That lovely coordinated CD and DVD tempo marker that we all have to try to follow. Together. As one. United."

He placed the ear piece in his ear, listened to the click track, and counted off silently, with slight flicks of the wrist. Feedback issued from the monitors.

"Ow!" exclaimed everyone in the room, sound technicians included. Dr. Wolf looked back at the sound booth. No words needed to be exchanged.

"Okay everyone. One more time.

"That wasn't half bad, and we were only off from the click track by about two measures. Let's stop for the day. I need everyone to be here at practice again tomorrow morning, and then I'll need you here early on Sunday so we can warm up and practice the rough spots one more time. Let's close in prayer.

"Lord, thank You for this time that we could practice our music together. Thank You that we can glorify You through our instruments, voices, and even with our technical knowledge. I pray that this would all work together on Sunday for Your glory. And if it doesn't... please make the congregation deaf or erase their memories. In Jesus' name, I pray, Amen."

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This article has been read 704 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Leah Nichols 01/14/10
HA! So true....Someone else is a musician, I presume. And yes, it does hurt!
Rachel Phelps01/14/10
Ah, just like my college conductor! That made me chuckle. Well done!
Debbie Roome 01/14/10
Love the title :) and can fully identify with the agonies of loud feedback. Good story.
Dee Yoder 01/17/10
LOL! This is so true, and as I just had this experience back in November/December as part of our community choir, I can attest that a musical conductor with a sense of humor is ESSENTIAL to good music. Very much enjoyed this slice of life moment. (And the prayer!)