The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/16/10
Loved the atmosphere at the beginning. Cute story.
Loved the setting at the beginning, the ending was great. I'm not sure if the boy's thinking is older than eight though (when he had the pipe). Overall a cute story.
Nice story. Likes the descriptions

I would like to see some more dialogue.

Were you the boy?
01/18/10
Very cute! I wonder why you tell it as a flashback instead of using the beginning as the start of the story about the toe. The ending line made me smile. Nice job. :)
01/21/10
Wonderful, believable story! Congratulations on placing in your level! Have you seen the Writing Challenge forums? Great job!
01/24/10
Great story, Virgil. You captured boyhood curiosity very well - I've always wondered what made littles boys tick!
Congrats on your placement. Well done -I enjoyed this story.