The Official Writing Challenge
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01/14/10
Awww, cute! The ending I mean.

Told in an easy to follow style and kept my attention. Good message of encouragement to trust in God.

The sentence about 'keeping an eye on the burn's condition" is not as smooth sounding as 'keeping an eye on the condition of that burn" but maybe you were condensing for word count. And maybe I'm just being picky.

I enjoy how you convey actions-- very easy to 'see'(or hear) Wanda bellowing, people gathered in private groups, eyes that sweep but do not see...

thanks for speaking up for shy people!!
01/14/10
I was expecting Curtis to be a twin which would account for her being ignored. The sentence "You’re very fair complected" is not a familiar way of talking for me. "You have a very fair complexion" is how I would expect it to read.
01/14/10
I've had that type of sunburn on my shoulders and it hurts for sure. Enough "OW".
Solid entry, interesting story and easy to understand. Paced well.

Mona
01/16/10
Cute story. I found myself looking for a bit more to the story - intensified conflict, perhaps - but what was there was engaging and well-written. I second the praise for writing about shy people!
01/17/10
Aww, I'm glad there was a happy ending! I get so peeved when people get bullied--especially socially--I felt so sorry for the MC! I think we all can relate to being snubbed and the pain that causes.
Man, that story could have been me at that age ....except for the ending! Good job!
01/19/10
Internal and external healing. Good story.
01/20/10
This sweet story has such a basic message that we often forget--we must trust God to answer our prayers in His time. Thanks.
01/21/10
I have never heard the term 'gentlemanly' but then I'm sure there are plenty of words that I have not heard. Also if I were the MC I still would be cautious of Matt, what did he say so different than Curtis that I would now trust him? Oh well, that's just me. Good job.