The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 670 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Enjoyed the dialogue of the garden members & the gardener.

I think you meant Evel Knievel. (?)

I think I'd like the story better without that last line. It kind of distracted from the message.
Very creative story! I loved the names of each character. I can see this published as a picture book. I do agree with the previous comment, that the story was great, but the last line is unnecessary. It took away from the magic of the moment for me and I had to look back to through the story to figure out where the fever induced coma came from.
01/16/10
Very creative entry about the Father pruning us branches grafted into Jesus, the vine, and how being pruned hurts but benefits us in the long run.
Personally, I would have ended it at "Harry chimed in." as you did such a wonderful job with the parable.
01/17/10
How very true! And yes, I agree with the others—you didn't need that last line.
01/17/10
Clever and descriptive!