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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Ow! (01/07/10)

By Colin Swann


He stared in horror as the rifle butt streaked towards his face. The violent impact smashed it - he felt his jaw go limp and his anguished cry of pain became diffused amidst the fierce thwacking of the weapon and the cracking of his teeth and jaw.


The document he was being pressured to sign was now splattered with his blood, but he could still just make out the heading: 'ANDRON DIABLOS CONTINO', and the sub heading: 'LORD of PLANET EARTH'.

Again he was ordered: “SIGN IT!” Struggling to verbalise his dissent he feebly shook his head in defiance.

A flash memory of his father chopping wood mirrored the sight of the rifle forcefully coming down on the chopping block. Ow! He winced as he felt the intense pain from the crushed hand that now compounded his physical agony. Lord, how can I bear this? Please help me! He tried to visualise the sufferings of the Cross, but failed.

It was strange that memories of his father were becoming so real in his hazy consciousness – he pictured him dragging the wood sack to the store shed and roughly swinging it in. Jacob hit the floor and wall of his cell with great force. He felt sharp pains as he suddenly struck the hard unyielding barriers: Ooh! - Ow! - Help! The soldiers angrily slammed shut his cell door – he shuffled trying to find some relief, but found none.

In his conscious spells Jacob relived the events of the past days. He remembered how it had all happened with unbelievable speed. All media, banks and the military were announced as now being controlled by the new glorious Global Government, which was headed by the esteemed Andron Diablos Contino. Only Satan's minions could have hatched and implemented such a plot.

The Elitos Society, with its all male membership, had been hiding for centuries within another all male secret society and unbeknown to lesser members was biding its time to bring into being Satan's final plans.

Jacob had been roughly dragged off because of his leadership of an Anti-Global Government demonstration and incarcerated. He lay there on the cold dismal cell floor thinking how they had promised him full access to all his finances, which were now tied into a cashless society, if he would renege on his position.

At the beginning they had presented an introductory note for Jacob to consider – part of it read: Sign your allegiance to the Most High Lord of Planet Earth and receive the Lord's gift within your body as a key to a long and prosperous life under his Lordship. Knowing that only willing subjects would receive this gift had enlightened Jacob. He realised that he would not have to receive the mark of the beast by force; however, he now shuddered at the thought of long unruly queues of ignorant people unwittingly receiving the 666 micro chip into their bodies.

After what seemed to him like days without food and water Jacob was dragged out into the prison exercise compound. A wall of sandbags framed a lone firing squad post. He felt his heartbeat painfully pounding against his bruised rib case. Ow! Oh no! They're going to shoot me.

Then his heart sank to the pit of his stomach as he looked over to a wailing crowd - his eyes eventually focusing on his heartbroken family, all huddled together horrified at his appearance and what was about to happen to him. Main trouble makers were also obliged to attend the execution. This is what happens to traitors! The new regime was determined to quash all dissent in order to avoid mass executions.

A smart officer read out his offence from a parchment scroll: Jacob Jordon you are guilty of high treason for refusing to renounce your God in favour of the true Lord of the Earth the esteemed Andron Diablos Contino. I hereby pronounce the sentence of death by firing squad.

Three soldiers quickly marched forward - stood to attention – presented arms – positioned their weapons for firing, then the commanding officer gave the order:-


Jacob's broken body slumped forward and finally found its release from torment.

The guns of the three marksmen had made one loud simultaneous blast. In the history of mankind this became the starting pistol for the 'Great Tribulation'.

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This article has been read 915 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Ruth Brown01/14/10
Wow that was a scary piece.
I could feel it all. You put a lot of work into this.Well done.Keep writing,Ruth
Linda Boulanger01/15/10
You could definitely feel the anguish. Truly well written.
Carol Penhorwood 01/16/10
Extremely well done! I pray that if that is ever required of me that I will have the courage of Jacob!
Karlene Jacobsen01/17/10
Oh, I could feel his pain. Glad he didn't give in and in the end received his full reward as he went to stand before his King.
Glynis Becker01/18/10
Chilling! Very descriptive and well written.
Verna Cole Mitchell 01/18/10
You presented very well the chilling possibilites Christians may face. I'm glad that's not the "end" though for Christian martyrs--just the end of suffering here.
Catrina Bradley 01/18/10
Spooky...because you never know what could happen tomorrow. Well done.
Mona Purvis01/18/10
Horrors like these are coming upon the world, so I read this knowing that this and so much worse WILL occur. Personally, I believe the church will be raptured before The Tribulation and scripture shows that people will be beheaded for refusing.
Very well told.

Barbara Lynn Culler01/18/10
Wow! It is going to happen, some form or another.
Good story- could feel the intense emotions.
Lollie Hofer01/18/10
This was a well-written, emotionally intense story. I could "see" every bit of it. Excellent example of SHOWING, not telling.
Jesus Puppy 01/19/10
Well done.
Sarah Elisabeth 01/19/10
Whew, I could feel the tension all the way through. Good job!
Noel Mitaxa 01/19/10
Painful and hopeful. I liked the reference to his release from torment. Well done.
Carole Robishaw 01/20/10
I agree with all the comments already made. Well written, and a goof reminder of what is to come, maybe sooner than we'd like.
Carol Slider 01/20/10
Brutal and terrifying, but also well written and thought-provoking. I'm very glad that we as Christians know how the story will end!
Lisa Johnson01/21/10
Amen, and amen!!! So glad to know Who wins the war!!! Thank you for your very thought provoking story.
Lollie Hofer01/21/10
I'm not going to second-guess the judges because they do a great job; however, even after saying that I don't know how this one didn't place. It was incredibly well-written. And that's not to take away from the winners either cuz' their stories were well done. Please don't be discouraged because this was indeed a mighty fine story. Look at ALL the favorable comments you received.