The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
01/14/10
Nice POV. I think this would be very nice if expanded to a longer story.
01/14/10
I agree that it opens up a much longer story, but you've set the scene, the characters and the feelings very clearly. I like your uncontrived bridge across to the gospel, and I would like to hear more about this dad's journey and how his friends explore it with him.
01/15/10
Sadly, there are way too many broken homes today where the father figure is missing. In this story you wove a gospel message through your characters without it sounding preachy. Good work!
01/17/10
Sad story; however it is prevelant in today's world. Well written but nothing about "Oh"...but I did see a "WOW" which was a neat response from the listeners. If this is true...Good Luck with findng solutions from on high.
01/17/10
Oops! I meant "OW" not oh..
Great analogy. The story is heartfelt and warm through the pain. Good writing.
01/18/10
Excellent story-telling. The dialogue was believable and smooth. I enjoyed the interaction before the three adults. I agree...I loved how it went from an "ow" to a "wow."