The Official Writing Challenge
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Nice POV. I think this would be very nice if expanded to a longer story.
I agree that it opens up a much longer story, but you've set the scene, the characters and the feelings very clearly. I like your uncontrived bridge across to the gospel, and I would like to hear more about this dad's journey and how his friends explore it with him.
Sadly, there are way too many broken homes today where the father figure is missing. In this story you wove a gospel message through your characters without it sounding preachy. Good work!
Sad story; however it is prevelant in today's world. Well written but nothing about "Oh"...but I did see a "WOW" which was a neat response from the listeners. If this is true...Good Luck with findng solutions from on high.
Oops! I meant "OW" not oh..
Great analogy. The story is heartfelt and warm through the pain. Good writing.
Excellent story-telling. The dialogue was believable and smooth. I enjoyed the interaction before the three adults. I agree...I loved how it went from an "ow" to a "wow."