My breath whooshes away like an unknotted balloon.
I sag into my chair, clutching the slender paper with numbed fingers.
Arms cross to pillow my aching head.
Drugged lethargy coaxes me into hopeless stupor.
I tumble into nothingness
Landing on feet as silent as death.
I find myself centered in a gigantic room.
Mirrored walls catch and toss myriads of chandelier lights.
My dressed-for-success suit
Morphs into a luxurious satiny gown
With a rainbow of diaphanous scarves veiling its skirt.
A man approaches, impeccably groomed, perfect of form.
“Shall we dance?” His melodious voice ripples
Over my weary soul as a stream in the desert.
Gently he closes warm fingers over my own chilled ones.
He draws me into a waltz.
We glide over the polished floor, whirling and swirling, feet in perfect accord.
He plucks a scarf from my skirt, enveloping us in its pinkness.
I am a child – carefree – dancing in my father’s arms.
I throw my head back as laughter bubbles up
And out of me, rolling all adult burdens away to oblivion.
Slides through his bronzed fingers,
The flaming brilliance pulsating youthful optimism.
Swaddles us in contentment as life dreams
Are met and filled, marching in expected precision.
Loving husband, good job, comfortable home.
I glance down and gasp. The gray of disappointment
Swallows innocence, energy and serenity.
My steps slow and I lose the timing of the dance.
Black sorrow and brown doubt fuse with the gray.
The tortuous trio circles me, weaving their lethal pattern,
Smothering my heart to
Why did God upset the life’s harmony
By placing a defective newborn in my arms,
Knowing my mate would abandon us in the crisis?
I weep in my partner’s arms, my feet stumbling,
Forgetting the steps which had flowed from me moments before.
Gently we sway together as sorrow surges and ebbs,
Surges and ebbs through my heart.
He leads, I care not where.
I press my storm-ravished face into his chest,
His heartbeat thuds against scorched cheeks.
I sense his love as he imparts relaxed strength.
Confusion and doubt dribble from my heart.
He holds me tighter and tighter in his
Laves off desolation as we twirl the whys of life away.
I embrace the disappointments that shifted my vision from internal
To external, now conscious of other shattered hearts.
I laugh at hurts that sharpened my senses for other suffering souls.
Surges through my being as my partner spins me faster and
Faster, wrapping us in a cocoon of golden ecstasy.
Radiates from my unveiled dress, a beautifully
Beaded and flowing wedding gown.
I grin at my partner, who has led me with unfaltering steps
Through this dance of life.
My forever bridegroom.
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