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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: It's a Colorful World (12/03/09)

TITLE: crayons
By Jim McWhinnie
12/04/09


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crayons

out of the box of twenty-four, the colors of life emerged,
one by one, they came my way and the heart within me surged,
they danced and pranced, they swirled and whirled, they painted such a glorious sight,
this confluence of color , this tempest of tint, filled my eyes with a pallette so bright.

the strawberry red and the blueberry blue came together to make deep, purple grapes,
and the cinnamon brown and the tangerine orange created huggable, loveable apes,
the summer grass green and dandelion yellow looked quite natural in the field that they made,
while the cerulean blue and the puffy, snow white looked down on this countryside glade.

the carnation pink and the apricot peach became a flower of delicate grace,
while the scarlet macaw and the sapsucker yellow flew gracefully all over the place,
the bold lime green and the lemon yellow and even the most temptable apple red,
drew to existence all the dreams that she had in her beautiful, honey-gold head.

but with one final gaze and with one final thought, she knew still had something to say,
so she wrote with a scrawl with the black and the gray,
“Thank you, God, for making the world in this wonderful, colorful way.”


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This article has been read 546 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Colin Nielsen 12/10/09
Very skilful. 3 aabb quatrains and a triplet at the end. Meets the subject requirements nicely. No sure what could be improved because this kind of structured poetry is not normally my thing. Nice writing.
Verna Cole Mitchell 12/14/09
I enjoyed this poem of colors very much. Even the names of the colors sound pretty, in addition to the pictures they paint.
Beth LaBuff 12/14/09
You have some wonderful, vivd phrases. I love "confluence of color" and "the strawberry red and the blueberry blue came together to make deep purple grapes" Creative work and a good message.
Noel Mitaxa 12/15/09
I enjoy how you have given life and purpose to all these colours. Provocative and light at the same time.

Aaron Morrow12/16/09
Excellent poem, I think we were on the same wavelength this round :). I really appreciate the sequence and lyrical nature of the poem! Great work!
Colin Swann12/16/09
A very colourful and vivid rhyme, expertly written. Thanks! Colin
Marita Thelander 12/16/09
I can picture the color box being dumped out with eagerness.

I noticed you started with "my" and ended with "she". That confused me a bit.

I love the last stanza.
Catrina Bradley 12/16/09
A fun poem! The bouncy rhythm fits it well.
c clemons12/16/09
Very good.
AnneRene' Capp 02/05/10
Magically awesome! The child in me was instantly rejuvenated with your flavorful descriptions of color. I am SO entrigued with the rainbow (God's bow in the sky)and seek out colorful photography! Also loooved your profile comment on your wife's "tilted halo" :)
I almost used "imperfect but saved by a God Who Is" for my signature!