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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Brown (11/26/09)

TITLE: Brown Blob in the Bubbles
By
12/02/09


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I placed the stopper in the bath tub, turned the "cold” faucet on, and adjusted the temperature using the hot water. Removing the lid from a new bottle of bubble bath, I sniffed the lavender fragrance before I poured a generous amount into the bath tub where the water splashed onto the old water-stained porcelain.

“Oh, bother,” I said with a sigh. “I’ve left my bathrobe in the bedroom.” I turned the portable CD player on with the volume low and headed to the bedroom, leaving the water to fill the bath.

On my return I lit some candles and switched the light off before I undressed and climbed in. I turned the faucets off and eased into the bubbles. It was then that I noticed a brown blob at the end of the tub. It was just below the surface of the froth. mmmm…It must be a gap in the bubbles, I thought, or a shadow. The light was dim and the silhouette of the flames flickered across the white foam. The music continued softly. I leaned back and played with the brown blob with my big toe until it disappeared below the surface. I let my head tilt back and rested against the tub. I closed my eyes. “aahhh…this is the life,” I sighed. I hummed along to the CD. Soothing harp music danced to the rhythm of waves splashing gently to the shore.

About fifteen minutes later there was a gentle knock on the door. The handle turned and the door open a little.

“Are you going to be in there all night?” my husband asked.

I opened my eyes. Only his nose and chin jutted through a small crack of an opening.

“No, I guess not,” I replied with a yawn. “I’ll shrivel up if I stay too long.” It was then I noticed the brown blob again in the bubbles; this time it was near my knee. “What’s that?” I asked.

Hubby came in and looked into the bubbles at where I pointed, but the brown blob had sunk with the movement of the water. “I don’t know,” Joe said, flicking the bubbles about with the tip of his fingers. “It could be the spare stopper,” he added and wiped his hand on his shirt.

I shrugged. “I don’t think the stopper is light enough to float,” I replied, but he had already left and closed the door.

A few minutes later I felt something touch my thigh. “Huh!” I put my hand into the water and pulled out my green hair-clip. I sighed with relief and put my head back against the tub to float away on the music that always calmed.

When the water began to cool, I pushed myself upright and felt around between my feet for the stopper and release the soapy water. With muscles relaxed and skin wrinkled, I stepped out onto the floor mat and reached for the towel. I switched the light on and began to dry off. I turned to face the bath tub as the last of the water gurgled through the drain hole. It was then I noticed that I wasn’t the only creature getting all soapy and soft. "Yikes!"

There on the top of the drain hole was a soggy and lifeless brown wolf spider.


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This article has been read 465 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Lyn Churchyard12/03/09
Oh dear, oh dear, this made me go all "oogy", especially when I did a second read and saw, I leaned back and played with the brown blob with my big toe until it disappeared below the surface.

Good story, but definitely "oogy" :-)

c clemons12/07/09
I don't know what a wolf spider is but I know I wouldn't want to take a bath with one dead or alive. The intrigue of what was in the tub kept my interest all the way until the last period. Good job!
Chely Roach12/07/09
I don't do spiders. (I keep inching my leg as I write this, lol.) Great atmosphere, with the right edge of suspense, topped off by my girly scream and freaked out shudder at the end. Well done:)
Edmond Ng 12/07/09
A very well written piece! You kept me in suspense throughout the story, unsure what to expect with the creepy feeling of something shocking is about to happen, much like watching a horror movie. Great job at capturing your readers' attention and contrasting a storm within the calm of a spider and music.
Kate Oliver Webb12/08/09
Yes, you kept the suspense going. I, too, love a good bubble soak, and could feel your horror when you discovered your tub-mate. Well done!
Jan Ackerson 12/08/09
ARGGGGGGHHHHH! If something like that happened to me, I'd never take another bath in that tub.
Barbara Lynn Culler12/08/09
Unexpected ending. I was thinking along the lines of something a bit more disgusting-that a very young child might leave behind :)
Virgil Youngblood 12/08/09
The suspense was maintained throughout. Good writing.
Colin Nielsen 12/08/09
Great writing. Those spiders lurk everywhere.I'm the spider killer in our house as my wife and kids hate em.
Leah Nichols 12/11/09
HAHAHA! I came here because of Deb's comment on the boards - I had to read it! Great job, Chrissy! I totally understand that one....they love tubs. I live in a basement so I see them pretty frequently. :) And congrats on 15th place! I know it's not an EC, but it's darn close!
Carol Penhorwood 01/27/10
Well done! The suspense was killing me! My back STILL hurts! Great job of writing!