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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Brown (11/26/09)

TITLE: woven in threads of brown simplicity
By Jim McWhinnie
11/27/09


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woven in threads of brown simplicity

in hooded, brown humility, the solemn brothers marched in somber, sober tones,
their footsteps were but whispered echos upon these ancient chapel stones,
the sacred air was filled with the dust of holy prayers,
drifting round and round in the dappled, watercolored light as if descending heaven’s stairs.

word by word and chime by chime, the relentless, reverent rhythm rose,
as the metered, marshaled voices chanted the medieval, mystic prose,
and by this endless drumbeat, by this very pulse divine,
the brothers of the abbey formed once more, the brown, unbroken line.

the silence of forever slowly settled in upon us all,
as if the souls there gathered had heard a distant angel call,
the heads, they bowed, the eyes, they closed, all thoughts became as one,
and all of life became as candle smoke as we became the living Son.

the moments of the quiet aged into the eternal moment’s peace,
the wars and weepings of a wanting world, they all began to cease,
the cares and cries of a conflicted life, they soon did drift away,
as the brown cloth warm simplicity became known to me that day.


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This article has been read 623 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Karen Pourbabaee 12/03/09
Really beautiful, mystical,
you skillfully brought me into the midst of a sacred moment.
Linda Boulanger12/04/09
Well written....a wonderfully woven picture!
Jennifer Galey12/05/09
Absolutely beautiful. Your meter and words painted this piece with somber strokes.
Virgil Youngblood 12/07/09
Descriptive words pregnant with meaning. Great writing.
Chely Roach12/07/09
Gorgeous alliterations...wonderful imagery. Captivating.
Jan Ackerson 12/08/09
Perfect--your words, images, meter, and rhyme all established a moment of hushed, brown peace. Love it.
Barbara Lynn Culler12/08/09
Very vivid word pictures.
Patricia Turner12/08/09
What great imagery; I could see these brothers descending the swirling stairs in the watercolor light. I love your title too. All in all nicely done!
Marita Vandertogt12/08/09
Absolutely beautiful imagery - definitely covers the topic brown. Nice job!
Eileen Knowles12/08/09
I enjoyed this. The pace of your poem really took me there. It fit the topic perfectly.
Colin Nielsen 12/09/09
Nice. I liked it. The simple aa bb rhyming scheme reminds me of the life they were trying to attain. And the alliteration, repetition of 'S' and 'W', throughout proves you have skill. The pacing was quite well done, too. Slow. Methodical. Deliberate. Just like to monks themselves.I look forward to reading more from you. Keep writing.
larry troxell 12/09/09
yes, keep writing. beautiful look at the life of monks.
Ruth Brown 12/09/09
Perfect production of the monks life. Very thoughtful!
Blessings to you.
Karlene Jacobsen 12/09/09
Coming from a non-poet, this is beautiful.
Sara Harricharan 12/09/09
I like this! I read it twice just to be sure I 'got' it and I did. What a lovely way to set the atmosphere. I enjoyed the read!
Verna Cole Mitchell 12/09/09
Perfectly lovely poetry. Great job!
Henry Clemmons12/09/09
Very good. I did a little resaerch and learned something too. Enjoyed it.
Pamela Kliewer12/09/09
I really, really like this! It flows so well and I could picture the scene vividly. Well done.
Beth LaBuff 12/09/09
Your alliteration is wonderful, "solemn…somber, sober" and "metered, marshaled… medieval, mystic." I can see this (and hear this) perfectly with your creative descriptive writing. I really like this!
Marita Vandertogt12/11/09
This one stayed with me long after the read. Just wanted to come back to say that it would have had my vote to win or place. I thought it handled the topic beautifully.
Philippa Geaney 12/11/09
Beautifully written Jim. Having been educated in a convent I identified with the atmosphere you created. Spot on. Wow.
Eliza Evans 12/14/09
I haven't read anything on FW in forever and I am not sure why I happened upon this today...but OMgosh! I LOVE IT.

First of all, I adore the idea. How creative of you! But the words gave me chills. You definitely painted the picture here. I held my breath. Just lovely lovely lovely.

FINE, fine work, my friend.