The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/28/09
Fun fun! I could see this in a girl's magazine.
Cute story. I loved the orange peel over the mouth-typical kid!!!
11/29/09
What a delightful read! I felt like a 15 year old girl again, reading it! Very good job!
12/01/09
A cute, fun and enjoyable orange story.

Colin
12/01/09
I love your characters and descriptions. I could feel the cold and I loved the girls. But it felt like something was missing, like this is part of a bigger story. I want to read the rest of it.
Super entry. Coaches can make huge impact in the lives of kids, and it's evident your MC did just that. Well done!
12/01/09
Great work, I loved the realistic dialogue and the details of a the rainy day game that I think many of us have attended sometime in our lives :). Great fun to read!
12/02/09
Awfully sweet! A great read for teen girls.
12/02/09
So cute with great interaction and a lively give and take dialogue.
12/02/09
I think it is hard to write about a game and stay congruent, but you did it very well. Ditto on descriptions. All well done.
Just wait -- forty years from now this game will be remembered as being played in minus ten degree weather. Good job, coach.
Really enjoyed this piece. Loved all the appreciation the coach received from the team. Well done!
12/02/09
Aww, this was so sweet, and it makes me love you more knowing the backstory. Loved it.