The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/27/09
I liked how you started with the ending...it was a good attention-getter. Great story.
12/01/09
A wonderful story that happens so often because of our Saviour.
Someone I know came to Christ in prison - he decided to read a page of the bible he was using for rolling ciggies.

Colin
12/01/09
Great work Larry, I really enjoyed the start and flow of this. Great character development, without getting too heavy in describing the prisoner's past. Powerful entry!
12/02/09
Excellent hook!

My only tiny nitpick is that I think you may have overdone the phrase "the Orange Demon", perhaps to be sure you were on-topic. A few substitions of "he" or "the prisoner" would make the piece flow more naturally.

I could really picture this guy, and I enjoyed this entry.