The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
Powerful point of view.I liked the repetition as it really added to the urgency of the situation.
Glad you included the footnote of the black box. I know it is actually orange, but not everyone may know that.
This story should be a winner!
11/29/09
Well, I learned something from your entry! I didn't know black boxes were orange! What a great piece! Kudos!!!
11/30/09
The "black box" crossed my mind when mulling over story ideas. I couldn't have come up with anything as original as this. Very good!
12/01/09
Great piece of writing. I too didn't know the black box was orange (sounds daft) lol Colin
12/01/09
Good, tight, and imaginative writing. And you're right. I did learn something new.
12/03/09
You have cleverly used repetition to introduce each new step in the story, when it could have very easily bred familiarity and turned your readers off. Skilfully done.