The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/19/09
Great title.

I think I'd like to see someone mourn the departed here. The only emotion seems to be bitterness.
11/23/09
I think you created a stong image within the word count here. Many times in life when the unthinkable happens, people are also left with unthinkable emotions as their reaction. One thing I would say is that you don't need to put the title in the entry at the beginning. It can distract from the opening of your story.
11/24/09
This held my attention, and I didn't see the end coming.
I like the use of the "Cinderella chant" at the end. Very well done.
11/24/09
Ohhh...!! I don't know what to say! How horrible for her!
11/24/09
I think you captured the epitome of selfishness in your story. A heartbreaking entry for sure, and very well done.
11/24/09
Very appropriate title. Well told sad story on the death of the very one who really didn't get it.!
11/25/09
I love how you proved she kissed a snake. Your story really brings out clearly the character of your mc.