The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Great title.

I think I'd like to see someone mourn the departed here. The only emotion seems to be bitterness.
I think you created a stong image within the word count here. Many times in life when the unthinkable happens, people are also left with unthinkable emotions as their reaction. One thing I would say is that you don't need to put the title in the entry at the beginning. It can distract from the opening of your story.
This held my attention, and I didn't see the end coming.
I like the use of the "Cinderella chant" at the end. Very well done.
Ohhh...!! I don't know what to say! How horrible for her!
I think you captured the epitome of selfishness in your story. A heartbreaking entry for sure, and very well done.
Very appropriate title. Well told sad story on the death of the very one who really didn't get it.!
I love how you proved she kissed a snake. Your story really brings out clearly the character of your mc.