The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 504 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
11/15/09
I was a little confused as to what had happened to "them." She woke up and "they" were gone. Good imagery throughout. You speak of "troubled sleep" and then speak of it again in just the next line. You might consider using another word the second time 'round. Laura
Very nice visuals and emotions for your characters. Great job.
I am not understanding the storyline here. Who are they? What period of time are we in? What relationship do the two have to one another?
Sarah could not have said anything more fitting to Lilly than what she did about the wearing of the color purple. Perfect! It lifted my spirits as well.
11/16/09
Moving, and tenderly written.

There were some places where commas are needed, and some clarification of the story line.

Sarah's loving heart shines through it all.