The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
I love the hope you show with this. Work at making the topic the center focus of your entry, not just mentioning the color of a few objects. The italic lines were especially good and added much to this piece.
I am so glad the man chose right. This is so scary, how easily pictures can be brought up on the internet. Thank you for that reminder.
Excellent depiction of both the physical and spiritual ramifications of giving in to temptation.

I felt that the pacing was a bit slow in the beginning--but the last half was particularly riveting.
You presented a temptation for many very well. May God add His blessing to your well written story and someone who needs God's grace find it through your writing.
sadly this has become a struggle within for a lot of people. Well written very descriptive.
very descriptive. great message on temptation. i don't see any bricks handy.
This is a subject that is so prevalent in today's society, both in the secular world as well as the Christian world. Satan loves getting his claws into a person to steer towards temptation. I think you did a wonderful job in writing what I consider a difficult, but necessary reminder of how prevalent this problem is. Good writing! Laura
Wonderful job making me feel your mc's temptation,and then his deliverance. You are weak on the topic, since "white" wasn't the main theme of your story, but your writing is solid and the story relevant and important. Good work!
Another captivating and sad story for this week of "white stories". The story drew me in. Good job.
Wow! Gripping story of an all-too-frequent reality. You offered hope with your ending!
Outstanding writing, with a compelling relevant message. Your depiction of the tension and the resolution was very strong. Excellent work!