The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Some good descriptions here, and I was engaged in the action.

I caught several grammar and punctuation errors. It was a bit distracting, but easily fixable.

That last line was a fun one. Enjoyed this piece!
Cute twist at the ending!

A few spelling errors to note: it's "Puerto" Rico, and the game is "SkipBo".

I love the title, because it also sounds like "eerie fog"--very good way to establish atmosphere.
I am from California, and I am not sure what a "Canadian Accent" sounds like!
Nice piece keep it up!