The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
10/22/09
WOW! Such emotions packed into 750 words. WHat a heart wrenching path young Echo is now on. Some handed to her by life, others of her own choosing. My Mama heart wants to reach out to her.
Your style of writing is very effective. It gripped my Momma heart for my own children; for the sad, lost young people in our degenerate, pitiful society.

God is "long-suffering toward all, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance."

May all the young Echoes come to the knowledge of the Truth and call upon the Blessed name of Jesus, our Saviour, for mercy and be saved.

Thank you for your entry.

Interesting choice of names, Echo. It left me wondering if she was named that in that she was echoing back what life seemed (at this moment) to be yelling at her.
10/23/09
Today's teens rebel in such destructive ways. Hopefully God will send a friend to Echo who will help her find her true self again.
Oooo, heart-wrenching story. I, too, wondered about the name. I like it, but was interested to know why her parents chose it. Good job.
Wow. Powerful stuff. You gripped me with this. I was left saddened for the number of children out there today who feel exactly like Echo does. It is my prayer that they come back to God and realize that no matter how much pain we endure, He is always there to carry us through it.

I like that you didn't just throw in a cookie cutter sweet ending into this. The way you ended it, while not happy, accurately reflects the struggles that many people (not just teens) face today with their faith.
10/28/09
so sad...
10/28/09
Excellent! I know girls like Echo...

The only little tweak I see is the semicolons in the last sentence.

This is chilling and riveting writing!
10/28/09
WoW. Powerful piece with a "great" ending. I want to echo ;) the sentiment that I liked the none-cookie-cutter approach to the ending and the whole story was captivating and felt quite "real."
You certainly captured rebellion well! I hope he grandfather's death brought her to her senses.
10/28/09
You crammed a lot into this piece. Excellent work and a good use of the topic to show the character's emotions.
Wow- sure didn't see that ending coming. Great job with high drama. Every time I see teens dressed in black with all that "goth" stuff going on, I feel so sad--as sad and empty as they look: you captured it perfectly. Terrific.
10/28/09
Oh my WORD! What a lot of story! And what a lot of emotions. Great dialog, and I just wanted to grab Echo up and give her a huge hug. And that boyfriend - ugh. And, poor grandpa, or happy grandpa now I guess. :) I'm all wrapped up in your characters.
11/15/09
What a powerful portrayal of the tension: deep dialogue here; brief suggestions there. You've introduced the characters and invited our imagination to take us past the 750 word limit. Very skilfully done.