The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
10/22/09
I wanted to know what brought Jessica to that hotel--maybe a glimpse into her past that explains the present. Other than that, the story held my interest. I liked the scripture tie-in and truly loved the ending.
Despair and yet hope was there by just "calling" out. I liked the way you showed your MC's past reliance and dashed faith by the tattered Bible. I knew immediately when she told the operator her room number where this was leading and was not disappointed by the promise of that single verse.
10/23/09
And this is why you are in the Master Class. Great imagery.Very well done!
10/27/09
I loved the moment when the "316" dawned on her! Great atmosphere in this emotion-filled story!
10/27/09
Love that last line--so simple, yet so profound! :)

I like the glimpses in your story of the spiritual world around us--unseen, but very real. Also, the "316" thing reminds us that God does work in mysterious ways His wonders to perform!
I'm glad your MC had a change of heart. This was well written and held my attention throughout. Loved the ending.
10/28/09
I love your descriptions. Very good.
10/28/09
Very good! I loved the aha! moment, too.

There was one place where "Bible" wasn't capitalized, I think.

I liked that you didn't give us the back story for her despair...you needed all your words to tell the story that you chose, and you did it with great skill.
I loved it!
Absolutely loved it!
One of the best pieces I've read on here.
Stephen King had better watch out.
10/28/09
Her room number was a wonderful coincidence... or maybe not a coincidence at all. God certainly works in mysterious ways! Good job.
10/30/09
Great reminder and so very well told!