The Official Writing Challenge
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10/22/09
This was fun to read due to all the picture words and phrases which made up a great story. Natalie hopefully changes her opinion after she realizes Grandma Phyllis likes the black jelly beans best. Things aren't always as they seem.
10/23/09
This story points out how too often we assume too much the wrong thing and miss entirely the sacrifice of others. Well done in showing this through the eyes of a child.
10/23/09
I'm with Natalie. I don't like the black jelly beans, but my daughter and her grandmother used to fight over them, in a nice way.

I liked seeing the grandmother through your MC's eyes. Good message, too. This was a fun read.
10/26/09
I love this sentence: "....she talks funny, with vowels drawn out like they were melting."
I am from the south, and took much teasing in another state because "I put a lot of extra syllables in my words." lol Your characters are so real, and it's a great story.
10/26/09
the black ones are my favorite. :) .. love this, especially all things concerning the mole. :)
10/26/09
Black jelly beans-you either love 'em or you hate 'em. This was well written, and did a good job expressing the thoughts of a little girl. Funny how we can be so sure of some things, only to find out we didn't understand at all. Funny, also, how we never really grow aout of that. Good story.
10/26/09
What a delightful story with a surprise at the end! I love the descriptions of Grandma Phyllis! I could just see her myself! :) Great writing!
10/27/09
This was a delight to read! You saw through Natalie's eyes perfectly, and judged just as a child that age would. And how often are we back in that childhood frame of mind when we misjudge the deeds and thoughts of others. Fun story--but quite thought-provoking. Excellent writing.
10/27/09
i can see my grandchildren noticing the smallest things, like the mole, about another person's features. a fun story allowing the reader to be involved.
10/27/09
Oh, I loved that grandma saved "her" favorite jellybeans for Natalie. What a grandma!
10/27/09
This is a cute, heart-warming story. I also appreciate the way it shows without preaching that prejudice can taint a person's judgment of someone. We as humans are too quick to make critical judgments of people based on our own emotions!
10/27/09
As grandparents we want to be able to connect with grandchildren in a positive way, but the generation gap does affect it. Jan, I always know when reading your work that the elements of writing will be excellent. Sentence structure, punctuation, etc.
This entry stands out in that it is not sweet, sad, or any familiar emotion, but an underlying one we all share from time to time. You did a lot with exposing it.
Mona
10/27/09
Told so well from a child's viewpoint. I love the tiny little twist at the end that tosses the reader a great message.
10/27/09
I'm a black jelly bean, licorice, and rootbeer girl, as well as a grandma, and I know how, as grandmas who love our grandchildren, we want to give them what we like the most. You showed this so beautifully. I just had a happy feeling at the end of the story. The little girl finally "got it."
10/27/09
Superbly written with a wonderful twist and message at the end. Well done!
10/27/09
I like black jelly beans!

This is one of those subtle stories that creeps up on you. Beautifully written (naturally!), and so very true--one small revelation can make a world of difference in how we view someone. Loved it!
10/27/09
I like the POV. Really a cute story. Blessings
10/27/09
I was a Natalie! I can identify completely with this little character. :-) Every word brought back so many emotional memories and drew so many familiar pictures. Your masterful word weaving is wonderful. As one who struggles somewhat in prose writing, I was expecially intrigued by your use of the present tense in this one. I love this piece!
10/28/09
Very cute and creative with endearing characters. Love me some black jelly beans! Yum.
10/28/09
I love your descriptions from the little girl's POV. Very cute.
10/28/09
Gret story- well written, as always but I gotta tell ya: I HATE black jelly beans...blech!
10/29/09
I love the descriptive characters! I see this as a chapter in a children's book!