The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
this is so sad... But I appreciated the hope that it offers, too. God will be with us as a loving Father, whatever we go through...
10/26/09
Great job with the transition between what your readers think is happening, and what is actually happening...seamless.

I was mildly distracted by switches from past tense to present tense and back, and by a few of your word choices ("stranded" means "isolated", for example).

So sad, but also very beautiful.
10/27/09
I had to stop reading half way through...then begin again. I wasn't expecting the story to move in the direction it did. Great MCing. I especially like how you asked the "Why" question and the way it was answered.
10/27/09
Excellent writing and novel approach to the topic. Great job.
10/29/09
Great writing..