The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
10/26/09
I really liked the countrified demons--really unique characters.

I felt a huge disconnect between the amusing first half and the shocking accident--almost like two different stories. And I'm not sure if Cora's words would have convinced me, after such a horrible accident.

Either the hillbilly demons, OR the witnessing Christian would be a wonderful story--it's probably just me. Superb writing that really drew me in.
10/27/09
two stories in one. you're great with dialogue.
10/27/09
Having the accident occur in their presence with two children being killed and then not following up in any way with it left a big hole in the story.
I think the story was "too big" for the word count and if you had more words at your disposal this could be very good indeed.
Mona
10/27/09
Buzzy and Bubba were very interesting characters, and I enjoyed "listening into" their conversations! This line made me laugh: "Out here inna middle-a nowhere—we gotta create our own temptation, cuz they ain’t thick on the ground in the middle-a nowhere." :)

I also liked the ending, where the power of prayer blocked the demons' attack. Great last line!
I found the writing to be very interesting with great detail to dialogue. Good ending to the story.
I liked the story -- I've enjoyed books by Peretti that deal with the spiritual warfare going around so this kind of writing draws me in. There did seem to be some disconnect in the story but there was much about it that was really well written!
10/27/09
I think I've been to that town... or one like it. :) I liked your ending very much!
10/28/09
Intriguing characters with great voices. Very genuine feeling. Maybe a bit light on topic?? Could be just me.