The Official Writing Challenge
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10/25/09
A beautiful story and well written.
10/25/09
Ditto to the previous comment. :)
10/26/09
The final image was perfect!

I felt as if the last few paragraphs got a little bit too "tell"ish. I think if you cut out some of Jade's realizations, but left us with the river of black tears, your reader would definitely understand Jade's transformation. Trust in the excellence of your own writing to preach your message.
10/26/09
This definitely brought tears to my eyes. I, too, have a teenager who struggles with believing certain things her grandma and parents believe.
10/27/09
Loved it! And consistantly on topic from go to whoa without being repetitive.
11/19/09
Jan gave you some really good advice. This powerful story could be even more powerful if you get to the place where you trust your own writing talent. Creative writing is one of the things where the phrase "less is more" really applies.
One thing I regretted seeing what that the title gave away the climax. Still, you have written an excellent piece.