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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Black (10/15/09)

TITLE: The Black Watch
By Jim McWhinnie
10/17/09


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the Black Watch

the muffled drums draped in black,
rrrum,
rrrum,
rrrum,
timed the steps of the eight by eight, the sixty-four,
rrrum,
rrrum,
rrrum.

the kilted guard made their solemn pace,
in this their duty to this holy place,
a woman wept behind her widow’s lace,
while the pipers played, “Amazing Grace”.

the muffled drums draped in black,
rrrum,
rrrum,
tapped one last time to their silent halt,
rrrum.

the sargeant major called, “Colors Bowed,”
the rifles fired three volleys loud,
a sadness fell upon the crowd,
prayers were made and hope endowed.

the clouds above began to grey
and the sky began to cry,
no more words were left to say,
as the day began to die.

silently, reverently,
the Black Watch hid their tears,
for another of their number
had died before their years.

the muffled drums draped in black,
tapped their hushed retreat,
to battlefields, to hell and back,
for this march, they would repeat.

rrrum,
rrrum,
rrrum.


a remembrance of the funeral for my uncle, a member of the Black Watch Regiment, who died in battle.


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This article has been read 572 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 10/26/09
Wonderful! So many poetic elements here--the repetition, the onomatopoeia, the every effective quatrains with their (aaaa) rhyme scheme--this was great!
Allen Stark10/26/09
Yes, nice poetic form. I for one can relate, having attended several military funerals.
Beth LaBuff 10/26/09
Wow! This is great! I could see it... your poetry is outstanding. This is very creative!
Deborah Engle 10/26/09
What a unique composition. This is a dramatic presentation, with much meaning. Goo writing.
Brenda Shipman 10/26/09
Oooh, fantastic imagery, nice pacing, just terrific all the way through. And bless you for honoring your uncle in this way!
larry troxell 10/27/09
Poem paints vivid, heartfelt picture. well done.
Benjamin Graber10/27/09
Oh, Wow. This is excellent! The blend of sounds and images is great...
Mona Purvis10/27/09
Muffled drums draped in black really set the mourning tone for this excellent piece. I could feel the empty, dark place of sadness.

Mona
Genia Gilbert10/27/09
Wonderful! Paints a beautiful, sad picture (in black).
Diana Dart 10/28/09
Loved the "sound word" - rrrum. Just set the mood perfectly and made the piece almost musical. Could feel the author's emotion. Nice, nice job.