Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Blue (10/08/09)
- TITLE: It's Not a Sin To Be Blue
By Lisa Johnson
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I have been a Christian since I was seventeen years old. I have never doubted my salvation, and I have never lost my faith. The promises of God have been my life-line through many trying circumstances. That being said, I have to be painfully honest and admit to being diagnosed several years ago with clinical depression.
I had the “blues”… and I had them really bad. Far worse than the “baby blues” that I had experienced after my children were born, I became totally incapacitated. The dichotomy was the knowledge that God is in control, and as His child I was supposed to be full of joy, but I was being overwhelmed by a tremendous and inexplicable sadness.
The more I tried to tell myself that my “blue” funk was irrational, the deeper I seemed to sink into the “blueness” of it. It did not help to have well-meaning, fellow Christians tell me that I could escape my “blues” if I had more faith, or if I prayed more, or read my Bible more. They did not comprehend that holding on to my faith, as tightly as I could during those “blue” days, was the only thing keeping me from going under completely.
Thank God, He led me to a physician who believed in the “Great Physician.” He had the unique perspective that allowed him to treat the physical aspect of my depression and, at the same time, give me the spiritual support that I so desperately needed. He helped me understand that being “blue” was not a sin, by showing me the healing love of Jesus.
It was a long climb out of the blue depths of my depression back into the joy of God’s light. Certain truths became the life-lines I clung to throughout my journey. My Savior, Jesus, understands my feelings and my fears.
“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are-yet without sin.” Hebrews 4:15 NIV
The tears that came all too easy… the tears that shamed me are precious in the sight of our Father, God. He saves the tears of His saints in heavenly bottles, and treasures each and every one.
“You have taken account of my wanderings; Put my tears in Your bottle. Are they not in Your book?” Psalm 56:8 NAS
I had a dream that I was in Heaven. I was standing on the shore of a beautiful, crystal blue sea. It was so calm and peaceful there, and it filled my soul with joy. I heard a gentle voice speak to my spirit.
“These are the tears that you cried when you felt so blue. I have saved each one, like a precious sapphire. From this supply, I will provide showers of blessings, so that your joy will be made full. Being blue is not a sin, my child… it is part of the journey… ‘weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.’” Psalm 30:5b NIV
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