The Official Writing Challenge
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10/15/09
A heart-breaking, but very important reminder. Thank you! This is very well written.
10/18/09
Sad the reminder of an even sadder time, but the writing shines. I so wanted him to make it to freedom!
10/19/09
Riveting account of a sad and unjust time in history. The dialogue was authentic, the mood of panic towards the end had my heart racing, and I was hoping that freedom would come to these desperate people. Excellent writing!
10/19/09
My eyes are moist, and ny heart is sad. It's a shame that this kind of situation ever happened, and I hope that the lessons learned will never die. Good job.
10/20/09
Wow. Your dialect was great. It was very realistic and so sad.
10/21/09
Heartbreaking story, from a heartbreaking time in our history. You made your MC very real and sympathetic.

I had a tiny problem with the accent, which almost bordered on stereotype. I wonder if scaling it back just a tad would be both more realistic and easier on your readers.

Love your use of blue in both eyes and sky...quite lovely.
10/21/09
This held my attention throughout. It was bold and truthful. I like your MC's determination. Thumbs up.
10/21/09
You brought us a strong memory of a sorrowful time with realism and grace. The somewhat stereotypical dialog did bring more of that awful time to life, I think. A brave story.
10/21/09
This was a wonderfully touching story. I found myself really hoping that he escapes safely.
10/22/09
Woo Hoo! Look at you, sitting pretty in EC with this excellent story!
10/30/09
Wow! This deserves a win. I have read some "Freedom" stories, and this is just as good and suspensful as any stories that made it into a published book. Very good, Yvonne...Write more of this kind of story. Write more!...Helen