The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
10/16/09
This is a beautiful story and beautifully written! I really appreciate the smooth manner in which you move from one scene to the other!
10/21/09
It takes good writing and an interesting story to keep the reader involved when scenes shift back and forth as in this entry. You did it very well. It really worked to make your story more on edge. Just beautiful.

Mona
10/21/09
I agree with Mona - the way you changed scenes helped to heighten the intrigue. The story also ended nicely, and believably. Good job!
10/21/09
"Holding her close I answered, “Because God wanted her to come home. And she is now in a far better place where there is no more pain and no more tears.”

Pulling her head back, she peered up at me. “How do you know?”

“I just do. Trust me.”

One of the most powerful parts for me in this beautiful piece! Gave me goose bumps :-)
Your tempo was great, the suspense incredible! Great job!
10/21/09
Cute daddy/daughter story.

I suspect that the present day scenes were supposed to mislead us, maybe into thinking it's a funeral? That didn't really work for me...I just felt as if I was being fooled, and so I "figured it out" right away.

Love the echoed lines from the little girl's childhood to the present day--that was a very tender touch.
10/21/09
This was a good story. I liked how the daughter reassured her dad with the words that he used to use as reassurance.
Oh, I like the way you threaded this together! Sweet story...