The Official Writing Challenge
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10/16/09
I almost felt like an intruder on Kendra's private moments with her new baby as this story subtly came to life.
10/20/09
Hmmm, this piece seems a little slow moving. The message for me was a little confusing...the mother swings from happy about having a baby to being lethargic. lol, of course, I've never had a baby, and from what I've heard, these are perfectly normal feelings.

"what have we done?" Loved this line :-)
10/20/09
I love the way you subtly weave the topic through the story (cerulean... indigo... cobalt...); but especially, I love the realism of it. The first time baby sleeps through the night is wonderful, and also terrifying. Oh, I remember that mad rush to the bedroom! Well done.
10/20/09
A very realistic portrayal, I'm sure! I thought it a tad weak on topic, but a delightful read.
10/20/09
I remember watching my sister go through this cycle with her baby. So spot on and realistic! I felt like the theme could have been elaborated on somewhat more in the middle section - in the first section it felt a tad forced... definitely loved it, though!
10/20/09
Thought it was cutesy and loved the tense. Didn't get the title though...unless I missed something obvious, lol. ^_^
10/20/09
I struggled a little with the emotions...maybe that was what I was supposed to do. The mother confused me with her throwing away the blue outfit. But, lots of hormones and more do affect new mothers.
Still, I was glued to the piece and it caused me to think about my early motherhood days.

Mona
10/20/09
My heart is in my throat. Oh, those baby blues. You love him, you just want him to sleep, you just want him to go away, you adore him and never want to stop holding him. Well done on the emotion-wrenching narrative and the layered topic.
I found the first part to be a little slow and dry, but the rest brought us right into the mother's heart and emotions. Well done.
10/20/09
Jan, I think this is a subtle, very compelling, story. In my thinking, the mom is suffering from some postpartum depression, exhaustion, and is just plain overwhelmed with her new mother's role. I understand every nuance of this, and though it is a bit scary when she is so removed from her baby in the beginning, I've seen mom's like this. It takes a while for some moms to slip into the role and make the fit comfortable. To me, this is a wonderful study of more than a few new mom's experiences.
I thought this was very realistic. It brought back some memories of my own. ;0)
Kendra's emotional roller coaster is so realistically written - hormones, exhaustion, all the blues that go with those first days. Then that first night when the baby sleeps through - I remember being terrified - I couldn't go into my daughter's room.
10/20/09
Oh those sweet rough days of the first baby,so hard,but so rewarding. Absolutly loved it!
10/21/09
jan, excellent writing. fathers love to hold their babies too! so realistic. i liked the slower pace, with time to think about what the author is going to reveal next.
10/21/09
ahhh...I can smell him! What a sweet baby story!
I enjoyed this different approach to the topic, and I could feel the mom's "blue" moments throughout.
10/21/09
Jan, I enjoyed the way that you wove different shades of blue throughout and think you did a great job of capturing the sense of both exhilaration and exhaustion of the MC.

It may just be because its early but I felt myself start to get engaged in the story, and I would stumble over a word (like cerulean or frisson), and the pacing halted. I kept feeling like I skipped a beat somehow.

There were also a few sentences that felt truncated. You may have designed that to give it more of a sense of the choppy thought patterns that come with exhaustion, and, if so, it worked well.

All-in-all well written, just a little tough on the thesaurus-impaired like me :)
10/21/09
I found this story moving with ease from one phase to another. I enjoyed it thoroughly. There were several lines (or part thereof) which brought a smile to my face. They are:
"her intentions never reached her feet;" "the suggestion of brightening indigo dawn;" "she dips him away from her kiss;" "his first smile is her benediction." All these were very descriptive with a freshness about them. I found your story very easy to read and I enjoyed the story line. What mother hasn't gone through what your MC did. Laura
10/21/09
Oh sweet, Jan. But I would say it's not your best piece but oh so sweet:) If you're not on topic enough I'm certainly not! Love this story. Makes me want...never mind, won't even say it!
This well written piece took me back, mega years to my own feelings of euphoria to tired helplessness and back to euphoria. I even remember the wonderful feeling of looking at what our love had made. Thanks for making your story so real.
I had a hard time following this but I presumed it had to do with post partum, roller coaster emotions, and thoughts that go all over the place. Since I'm not familiar with the whole motherhood thing, it was unfamiliar to me, however, well written.
10/21/09
I enjoyed this very much! It was truly the atmosphere of a home with a new baby, a mom and dad who love him, and the occasional sense of panic that accompanies bringing a new life into the world. The blessed reward at the end ("his first smile was her benediction") is one for that mom's memory cells, for sure.
I think this piece accurately reflects the emotions of parents who are doing their best to take care of their first newborn child without any previous experience.

I had trouble following it in a couple of spots, but I think that was due to the nature of the story you were trying to tell. New parenting would be a restless but enjoyable experience.

I liked the roller coaster of emotions the mother went through--very true to life! (Sometimes mothers don't like to admit some of those feelings even to themselves!) Loved the references to Where the Wild Things Are! Nicely done!