The Official Writing Challenge
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I love poetry and relished the imagery in this beautiful piece!
10/16/09
Excellent! I think you are describing a clinical depression. I liked your use of, 'Time. Moves. Slowly;' and the way the perception of time began to change. Very well crafted!
Your careful choice of words and pacing were excellent here. I appreciated it so much more the second time I read it through. Then I truly felt like I had crawled inside the skin of this person and felt the weight of the world on his shoulders - the weariness of life, when even breathing in and out took effort. Great job with this!