The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/08/09
Excellent! You really captured his conflict, and his willing spirit. Very well done.
10/09/09
Wow--this really caught and kept my attention. Great job with the dialogue and also the conflict and flashbacks. Nicely done!
What a well written piece! There was so much to like about it with great dialog, detail and emotion.
10/11/09
Nice pace. Great dialogue. I liked it that the statement was made regarding a shepherd-type (chalpin) needs to be out where the need is greatest, not behind walls.
Oooo, stellar entry all 'round. Great job.
10/13/09
What a slice of life piece this is. Your dialogue and characters are so believable. In this story of battle you give us a glimpse of the war within the two characters and you do it with economy.
Excellent. Love the dual meaning of the title as well.

Mona
Excellent.
Good writing with believable tension.
10/14/09
The last couple of lines were very powerful, as was the whole story.
10/14/09
Great work! You did a super job of tying me in knots as you increased the inner conflict throughout. Excellent dialogue to set the atmosphere. Very well written.
10/15/09
Congratulations! Placing 3rd place in Advanced with all those entries is really an accomplishment. Great writing.
Congratulations, Rachel! You did a great job with this story, and we are ALL very proud of you. Looking forward to reading your "black" story next week. :)
10/21/09
Excellent portrayal of your MC's physical, emotional and spiritual battles. Congrats.