The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/08/09
Sweet and inspirational story!

Additional editing for punctuation would give this a finer polish, especially commas and quotation marks.

I like your tie-in to the topic.
10/11/09
Well-written, but the ending seems a little abrupt.
Your story completely kept me interested in what would happen next. Left me hopeful for the brother's return on Sunday.

Now I'm wondering what was going to happen to the brother that would call for such urgency.
I agree
I'm wanting more
Guess that is successful in itself
Good job!
10/14/09
I felt like I was sitting with these two brothers as they shared. Seeds were certainly planted. It would be interesting to see what happens because of this conversation.