The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 767 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
10/10/09
At the conclusion I felt I had read an intriguing intro to a story that was yet to unfold. You left me wanting more.
Ouch. I feel for Glenn. She keeps using his Christianity against him...unequally yoked possibly? Anyway, it seems he's getting dumped on a lot. Quite creative use of topic. Good job.
10/12/09
Exquisitely written. I especially love the paragraph where Glenn arches his back; I had to slow down and read that 3 or 4 times to savor its rich layers of meaning.
Very realistic and powerful story. The intro paragraph is excellent--great job setting up the mood of the story. I also like Glenn, again very realistic.

Even though there isn't really any physical description of the characters, I have no problem visualizing them.

I would've liked a bit more dialogue, but your descriptions of inner thought are excellent.

Well done.
10/12/09
Wow. Your writing is amazing. You put me right in the middle of the scene...in the middle of their lives. I, too, want more. Excellent job with the topic.
You captured your MC's emotions very well. Held my attention, too. I couldn't stop reading until I got to the end. Two thumbs up.
Pictures, pictures--all the way through. This is so well done. I felt a lump in my throat when I read HIS children. What a great way to show an attitude change with God's help. I love Glenn! Now if his wife can "grow up" a litte!
I really like the way this is presented in present tense. It is not an easy thing to do, but very effective in putting the reader into the immediacy of the action.
It was very easy to identify with Glenn and the reason for his actions or as he surmised in the water, his non actions. I especially liked how he considered the possibility or impossibility of complete absolution.
I think his step-children are fortunate to have such a father figure in their lives- I wonder if that was one of the reasons he choose to marry whom he did. Based on what I've seen of Glenns' heart, I can't totally agree with his opinion about his free will: “I don’t have to do anything. What I do, I do of my own free will. Never forget that.” But the parting tag line is priceless and couldn't be said any better: "The wind, the persistent wind that has plagued him the entire day, relaxes." I can you can tell I got a lot out of reading this. Great job!
10/13/09
Very interesting, I didn't fully understand about the red tide until I read this. Good that the red tide of the blood of Jesus was creeping into the picture.

Thanks for sharing - Colin
10/13/09
Well-crafted, very readable work ... I love your clear and vivid style ... so smooth...
Had you not hinted, I would have had no idea that this was your piece.

Don't get me wrong, the writing is excellent as always, but this seemed different than your usual fare. That's good, because it shows your range. You can do funny and sarcastic. You can do serious pieces like these with very strong messages. You can write anything you want and make it excellent. That's not just cheap flattery. It's truth.

Always a pleasure to read your stuff. :)
10/14/09
What a sad life for this man. Maybe he will step into the Godly role as man of his family and tame his wife a bit? This is very different, very out-of-the-box. Excellent.
Glenn is a very believable character; I found myself rooting for him the whole time! Amazing description of setting and his thought processes. I love the subtlety of the message and character change. Excellent piece!
Wow- excellent writing (as always). As a "former" step-mother, I could sadly relate to this story that could possibly not have a happy ending. Way to stir up the emotions!
10/17/09
When our oldest daughter got married, Tilman sang a song he wrote. The basic theme was you “You Have to Choose to Love,” especially when the honeymoon is over, or someone starts an argument, etc. Your writing says so much without “spelling it all out”. You always amaze me, and this entry is no exception.
Wow, Lisa - I really like this one. It is very simple and down to earth, but has a very serious feel to it, too, calling us to make the right choices in our lives, and reach out with love...
06/28/11
I like this.

I wasn't sure if there was much more significance to the red tide at until the end. I kept expecting something else to happen.

I liked the analogy of the blood of Christ. I have a feeling there may be more to this story, and I'd love to read it.
This is a great example of how life just sneaks up an you if you aren't paying attention. I love the details and the characters are so- maybe even too real.