The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 566 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
10/08/09
Well done. I like the deliberate, jerky pacing, and how it subtly changes toward the end.
10/11/09
I'm still not clear as to where the anger came from, or why.
I like the gradual change--it was realistic and not too much too fast. I like some of the jerky style and format, but it might be even more powerful if it was used a little more sparingly... but that's just my oppinion. :-) Good story and good point.
10/13/09
Nice job. I could feel the roller coaster ride of emotions with the character. The style seemed odd at first but the more I read the more it worked.
10/13/09
I loved how the jerky style calmed down toward the end, reflecting her emotional change, but I also felt as if the jerkiness was a bit overdone. The intro was great, but I got a little lost in the white space.

Great way to do "seeing red," which could so easily be cliched. Excellent!
Yup, I've been in that red haze. Love how you handled this challenge.
10/13/09
A lesson that needs to be
learned.Well done.
10/14/09
I liked the jerkiness, it helped me feel the MC's temper tantrum. And I loved the way you had God speak to her in a soft, patient voice. Such a good contrast. Well done.
10/14/09
I'm sure we can all relate to this anger. Excellent message of God's patience and unconditional love.
10/14/09
Nice work, very honest and candid glimpse into our self-talk and dialogues with God. My favorite part was the "Oh. God. Great."...classic and so true sometimes.
Very good use of inner dialogue to bring out the emotional turmoil within and ultimately the healing. So simple, but powerful.
You used a great technique for communicating God's heart toward us when we are angry. Thanks for sharing this with us!