The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/08/09
Lots of fun here, and I really enjoyed the British flavor--or I should say, flavour.

There were some minor issues with sentence structure--in particular, some comma splices.

LOVE the last few lines--very clever!
10/13/09
Even the James Bond in us is happy with one woman. Great humor!
This is very visual. Quite enjoyable, too. I love the last line. Made me chuckle.
Very fun entry. Love the ending.
A delightful story.
10/13/09
This little piece sparkles with humor. Good writing C.
Very enjoyable.Bless you,Ruth
10/13/09
This little piece sparkles with humor. Good writing C.
Very enjoyable.Bless you,Ruth
10/14/09
This was a fun piece.
I did have to reread the part about the dogs (at first I thought his date jumped on his back, hehe).
I liked the bit about the third date constantly checking her hand mirror like a preening cat. Clever :)
10/14/09
So glad true love was found! Sweet:)
Fun and made an enjoyable way to spend a few minutes reading while leaving a good memory.
Cute story! Reminded me of Tom Hank's attempts at re-entering the dating scene in "Sleepless in Seattle." I started to correct a few spellings until I read "Mummy" at the end and realized you might be British (i.e. materialised should be materialized.) There were a few verb/helping verb mix-ups: "had got" should be had gotten. The dog scene was a bit confusing to me, too. I had to re-read it a few times to get the names attached to the right people & dogs. Not sure you needed that much detail in the dog scene - one little exchange there would've been enough to carry the story along. I loved the ending - nice wrap-up - tight and concise. Clever idea for red!
Okay, I just looked at your profile and saw you ARE from the UK. Sorry for the spelling comment. And by the way, I like the way the Brits spell words- somehow always adding a touch of class! American spelling is really so very "plain." :) And I see you like theater (or is it theatre?) - so what's with your character's aversion to Romeo & Juliet in your story? Unless, of course they have theatre productions of James Bond there in the UK! :)