The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Excellent and compelling end-times fiction.

I found some of your sentences a bit wordy and adjective-heavy.

I like the back-and-forth between the action and the man's thoughts, and the itlaicized flashback was very effective.
A difficult read for me mainly because of so many adjectives causing too much of an interruption in the flow of the story. However, I did like one particular adjective in the first paragraph.
Ooo, at first I thought this was a 9/11 story, and in a way that made what it turned out to be even more realistic. I agree that the first part was a little hard to get to, but otherwise good job.
Worth the effort to read. Overall, I really enjoyed this compelling end-time story.
Well written, and I agree with Jan's comment regarding the use of adjectives. That being said, your writing style was very engaging and I could experience everything being said. Your theme reminds me a lot of the book "By the Waters of Babylon"
Yesteryear many wonderful works were filled with adjectives. Sometimes to the point that it was hard to get to the subject/verb of the story. I still think it beautiful when well done.
Today, we lack patience to let the words sink in. This is very well writte.

You captured the destruction and the desperation...well done