The Official Writing Challenge
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10/08/09
Cute and clever story--I never would have thought of this for the topic!

I couldn't quite place it in time; the girl seemed to use teen slang from several different decades. And watch the spelling of "copacetic" and "gross".

Having raised two teens, I think you nailed it on how the smallest thing can seem like a mountain. This would be a good read for a junior high youth group.
Very nice story! Loved the title :) You did a great job at capturing the agony a teenager feels...I remember having meltdowns like that and feeling like it was the end of the world!
10/08/09
I really enjoyed reading this painfully true-to-teenage-life story! Good descriptive wrting and your conversations were realistic.

I particularly liked the following "bits":

*“It’s huge,” she wailed. “It’s bright red and as big as Mt. St. Helens and I think it’s about to blow. It wasn’t there last night. I guess it’s a zit.”

Mom surveyed the mountain Melanie had made out of her molehill. She took Melanie’s hands in her own."*

*"The giggle Mom tried to hold back slipped out and Melanie caught it."*

I look forward to reading more of your work! :)


10/11/09
A very creative piece dealing with a very common issue. Clever use of Mt. St. Helens to describe achne. I'm going to let my teen read this one.
10/12/09
Your precise details made it easy to see the scenes set before us.

Good job capturing the emotions that run so high with teenage girls. Aaaahhh! A pimple can ruin everything!!

Some of Melly's vocabulary may have seemed slightly out of place... maybe a longer version would fully reveal her as a witty sarcastic person. Hard to fully develop her personality in a short story.

Amusing story-- an unusual choice for the subject! You did a great job with the patient wise mom.
10/13/09
I like your story. It's a unique approach to the topic for the week. I'm not really getting Melanie's slang, though. Is she attempting to make fun of old slang, or what's going on?